It's nearly impossible to believe it's been ten years since Mean Girls was released on April 30, 2004, but we've decided to celebrate instead of think about how old that makes us feel.
Here are the 10 enduring lessons Mean Girls taught us.
1. Tina Fey is a Rockstar.
Until 2004, Tina Fey was the woman who you knew would make an SNL sketch better when she entered the scene. The toast of Second City Chicago, she hadn't transcended much past improv, sketch comedy and SNL, though she existed flawlessly in that medium. However, with the arrival of Mean Girls, which she wrote and starred in, she took the leap from SNL MVP to forever solidifying her placement in film for both women and comedy in general. Now, she's the woman you know will make any project better when her name's attached. Thank you, Tina Fey, for blessing us with Mean Girls, and for being a hero to several generations.
2. Janis Ian is the girl we want to be (and/or sleep with).
Janis Ian is the high school punk-perfection dream. That vicious, fearless sarcasm, f**k-all attitude, proficiency with eye liner - it's almost impossible not to fall for Janice Ian/Lizzy Caplan (who can now be found on Masters of Sex). Janis, we are definitely not ashamed to admit we have a big, lesbian crush on you. And a double-thanks to Tina for that not-so subtle nod to actual 70s folk-singing lesbian hitmaker Janis Ian, who gave a generation of outcasts their anthem "At Seventeen."
3. Lindsay Lohan is capable of great art.
It started with the Parent Trap (a mini Tatiana Maslany before her time), and pretty much peaked at Mean Girls, but it was wonderful while it lasted! No matter your current feelings on the endlessly controversial celeb, you can't argue her performance as Cady (pronounced Katie, of course) Heron is practically perfect in its wide-eyed innocence, confusion, bitchery, backstabbery, and ultimate self-realization through friendship and mathematics. No matter how many wrongs Lindsay may commit, Cady will always hold a special place in our hearts.
4. On Wednesdays, we wear pink.
'Nuff said.
5. Forget your iPhone, check your boobs for the weather.
Karen may not have a lot going on in the way of intelligence, but she certainly has a bright future as a captivating meteorologist. Even better, she's played with deer-in-the-headlights mastery by as of yet generally unknown Amanda Seyfried. For many reasons, charmingly ignorant Karen might be our very favorite Mean Girl, including her ability to not shy away from the hard-hitting issues. After all, if you're from Africa, why are you white?
6. Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.
Walking Dead's Lori Grimes, Star Wars' Padme Amidala -- way too many characters in Lifetime movies. If only they'd heeded Coach Carr's advice they may still be with us today (and Darth Vader might not have totally ruined everything). The kicker - this is actually weirdly close to many schools' actual sexual education (*shiver*)! But even Coach Carr himself couldn't uphold his beliefs - we all know what happened with Trang Pak.
7. Fetch is NEVER going to happen.
Gretchen Weiners has a lot to be proud of. Seriously, her dad invented Toaster Strudel. But alas, her catch phrase only lives on in its nonexistence.
8. We've all been personally victimized by Regina George.
No matter who you are, where you live, and what you do, there's always going to be a Regina George in your life. But it would take a true monster to be as delicously evil as the ultimate Mean Girl, portrayed by a Rachel McAdams so vicious we all gasped for at least a moment when we learned she was also Ryan Gosling's sugar-sweet lover in The Notebook. She's the teenage nightmare we love to hate, even if we know we'd end up in her Burn Book.
9. Glen Coco is the most important extra in history.
You know you've said at least once in your life, 'You Go, Glen Coco' to someone who's just done something awesome. Why? Because Glen Coco is awesome. I mean, he got four candy canes. Who gets four candy canes?! Glen Coco, that's who. Ultimately, we should all aspire to be like the near-faceless extra who made movie quoting history.
10. The limit does not exist.
The answer that can make or break a math championship is also our feelings on the very film itself. Just think about it for second - how many times have you seen Mean Girls? could you watch Mean Girls? Safe to say, the limit does not exist. Happy anniversary to the film destined to be one of our favorites forever! Now, get in loser. We're going shopping.