'13 Reasons Why' Star Tommy Dorfman Comes Out As a Trans Woman

Tommy Dorfman, star of 13 Reasons Why, has opened up about her transgender identity to Time Magazine.

"For a year now, I have been privately identifying and living as a woman—a trans woman," the 29-year-old shared. "It’s funny to think about coming out, because I haven’t gone anywhere. I view today as a reintroduction to me as a woman, having made a transition medically. Coming out is always viewed as this grand reveal, but I was never not out. Today is about clarity: I am a trans woman. My pronouns are she/her. My name is Tommy."

Dorfman clarified why she will not be changing her name. "For me, personally, it’s not viable. I’m not changing my name. I’m named after my mom’s brother who passed a month after I was born, and I feel very connected to that name, to an uncle who held me as he was dying. This is an evolution of Tommy. I’m becoming more Tommy."

Dorfman certainly hasn't been hiding who she is as she's been open about her journey over Instagram, but felt that it was time to control her own narrative. 

"I’ve been living in this other version of coming out where I don’t feel safe enough to talk about it, so I just do it," she said. "But I recognize that transitioning is beautiful. Why not let the world see what that looks like? So I kept, on Instagram, a diaristic time capsule instead — one that shows a body living in a more fluid space. However, I’ve learned as a public-facing person that my refusal to clarify can strip me of the freedom to control my own narrative. With this medical transition, there has been discourse about my body, and it began to feel overwhelming. So, recently I looked to examples of others who have come out as trans. There’s the version I couldn’t really afford to do, which is to disappear for two years and come back with a new name, new face, and new body. But that’s not what I wanted."

Dorfman doesn't exactly think of all this as a transition, just her coming into her own and growing into herself. As for what lies ahead, she's "thinking about how I can infuse my trans body into film and television. Lena Dunham gave me my first role as a girl last year—it was so exciting and validating."

Personally, Dorfman says it’s "wild to be 29 and going through puberty again. Some days I feel like I’m 14. As a result of that shift, the types of romantic partnerships I seek out are different. I was in a nine-year relationship in which I was thought of as a more male-bodied person, with a gay man. I love him so much, but we’ve been learning that as a trans woman, what I’m interested in is not necessarily reflected in a gay man. So we’ve had incredible conversations to redefine our relationship as friends. Transitioning has been liberating and clarifying."

Ultimately, Dorfman is "aligning my body with my soul. Yet as a result of that, I am losing some things. I have to reckon with the fact that I brought along a lot of people and things who might not end up being there for this part of my journey. All I can do now is look to a future where I am, hopefully, just radically honest. That’s the person I am becoming."

Thanks for sharing your journey with us Tommy!