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Love, Simon Author Becky Albertalli Comes Out as Bisexual
"This isn’t how I wanted to come out. This doesn’t feel good or empowering, or even particularly safe."
Becky Albertalli, the writer of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (the young adult book beloved gay teen rom-com Love, Simon was based on), has come out as bisexual.
"I’m bi," she wrote yesterday in an essay titled I know I'm late. "Sorry it took me so long to get here. But then again, at least the little red coming out book I needed was already on my shelf (in about thirty different languages). I think I finally know why I wrote it."
\u201cHey everyone! Becky\u2019s assistant here to share an essay that she wrote. Please read it if you can \ud83d\udc99 https://t.co/NXaiTNUxD8\u201d— Becky Albertalli Updates (@Becky Albertalli Updates) 1598897413
Albertalli, who has widely been criticized for writing queer books as a straight woman, says she felt pressured to come out since writing the 2015 novel. In the essay, she opens up about her journey, some of the novel's inspirations, and the process of discovering her own identity.
Growing up in the '80s and '90s, she says "the idea of sexual fluidity wasn’t even on my radar. And there didn’t seem to be a word for girls who basically liked guys, but were sometimes (randomly!) fascinated by girls. But the girl stuff was always so vague, and it didn’t really fit with how I saw myself. So my brain did what brains sometimes do. It edited out all the parts that refused to make sense. And for over two decades, I basically forgot those feelings existed."
After some deep self-reflection and the release of her follow-up book Leah and the Offbeat featuring a bi character, she only recently began to admit to herself that her love of writing queer stories might've been something more.
"Y’all, I didn’t know. I legitimately didn’t realize. I’m thirty-seven years old. I’ve been happily married to a guy for almost ten years. I have two kids and a cat. I’ve never kissed a girl. I never even realized I wanted to. But if I rewind further, I’m pretty sure I’ve had crushes on boys and girls for most of my life. I just didn’t realize the girl crushes were crushes."
While unpacking those feelings, she says she felt intense pressure from the YA community as a presumably straight woman writing LGBTQ+ stories. "Holy shit, did people discuss. To me, it felt like there was never a break in the discourse, and it was often searingly personal. I was frequently mentioned by name, held up again and again as the quintessential example of allocishet inauthenticity. I was a straight woman writing shitty queer books for the straights, profiting off of communities I had no connection to."
Albertelli resents the fact that her identity was scrutinized so intensely for the last five years.
"Let me be perfectly clear: this isn’t how I wanted to come out. This doesn’t feel good or empowering, or even particularly safe. Honestly, I’m doing this because I’ve been scrutinized, subtweeted, mocked, lectured, and invalidated just about every single day for years, and I’m exhausted. And if you think I’m the only closeted or semi-closeted queer author feeling this pressure, you haven’t been paying attention."
Albertalli says he main motivation for coming out is for the next closeted author out there still discovering themselves who will hopefully be given a bit more patience and kindness than she was.
"Can we make space for those of us who are still discovering ourselves? Can we be a little more compassionate? Can we make this a little less awful for the next person?"
Taylor Henderson is a PRIDE.com contributor. This proud Texas Bama studied Media Production/Studies and Sociology at The University of Texas at Austin, where he developed his passions for pop culture, writing, and videography. He's absolutely obsessed with Beyoncé, mangoes, and cheesy YA novels that allow him to vicariously experience the teen years he spent in the closet. He's also writing one!
Taylor Henderson is a PRIDE.com contributor. This proud Texas Bama studied Media Production/Studies and Sociology at The University of Texas at Austin, where he developed his passions for pop culture, writing, and videography. He's absolutely obsessed with Beyoncé, mangoes, and cheesy YA novels that allow him to vicariously experience the teen years he spent in the closet. He's also writing one!
