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8 Gifts for Gay Men Who’ve Just Come Out of the Closet
Finding a queer tribe isn’t always the easiest feat. Gay clubs, cliques, Grindr, and even queer vernacular (Hey Mary! Yass! boots!) can be jarring when we first come out. No one busts through the closet doors fabulous queens ready to slay. All of us need a little time to adjust to queer culture. This list of holiday gifts is for the loved ones in your life who’ve recently come out, but are still trying to find their footing in the queer community.
Think of these 8 gifts as being an essential gay 101 starter pack!
1. A sensible crop top
Fuck your feminine shame! The first thing every recently-out queer needs to do is explore gender with a crop. While crops might not be everyone’s "thing," it’s still necessary to encourage anyone who’s recently out to explore different ways of presenting themselves. This includes how they dress! (Check out these fabulous crops at Asos!)
2. A leather harness
In the same exploratory vein, why not get your recently-out friend a leather harness? Even if it’s not your “thing,” there’s no harm in owning one!. A surprising number of young queer men find their tribe in the leather community. There are too many harness companies to list here, but some queer-run companies I know are solid include Slickitup and Nasty Pig.
3. Homoerotic art
Thank God for Instagram. Aside from your usual content roll of thirst traps and drag queens, Instagram is also a great place to discover queer artists, many of whom have their work for sale. Currently, a few of my favorite homoerotic artists on Instagram are Boisop, Gabriella, Xavier Schipani, Bulleth0le, and Tom Taylor.
4. A 'RuPaul’s Drag Race' box set
You’re not doing the show, drag culture, or your newly-out friend any justice by letting him start on season 10. Lord knows there was drag before Aquaria. (There was also drag well before Drag Race, so why not take him to a few bars to support your local queens while you’re at it? Sit down and watch Paris is Burning with him on Netflix?) Oh, and here's a link to purchase the box set for my fave season, season 5.
5. Gay fiction
In my humble opinion, The Song of Achilles, written by Madeline Miller, is the best queer novel written in the past 30 years, but if you want to give him something a little bit more classic, I’d go with Dancer from the Dance by Andrew Holleran, Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin, or F****ts by Larry Kramer.
6. Queer non-fiction
There have been an oversaturation of memoirs these past few years, but three queer memoirs that stood out to me in 2018 are How to Be Alone: If You Want To and Even If You Don’t by comedian Lane Moore, How to Write an Autobiographical Novel: Essays by Alexander Chee, and Unwifeable by Mandy Stadtmiller.
7. Fenty Beauty Diamond Bomb highlighter
The newly out queer probably isn’t yet comfortable beating his face for the gods, but surely, he loves Rihanna and wouldn’t mind adding a little glitter to his face and body for a special occasion? This is a great product for someone who isn’t yet a makeup pro, but still wants to look extra fabulous.
8. Hello Mr.
After 6 years, Hello Mr. announced earlier this year that their 10th issue would be their last. Still, the artwork, photography and many of the articles in the magazine are timeless. For those who aren’t familiar, the publication focused on the interests, struggles, and journeys of men who date and love other men. Stories ranged from Jacob Tobia telling their experiences of navigating the gay world as a genderqueer person, Jim Parsons’ honoring the AIDS epidemic, and numerous interviews with queer celebrities including RuPaul's Drag Race alum Milk, Olly Alexander, and Kehinde Wiley.
