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This Queer comedian's jokes about strap-on awkwardness are way too real & we can't stop giggling
“My entire experience with strap-ons is colored by ego death,” Bridget Foley says.
From scissoring to butch/femme dynamics, everyone and their mother thinks they get to have an opinion on Sapphic sex — hint: they don’t! — but one queer comedian says that what we really should be focusing on is how awkward using a strap-on can be.
Comedian Bridget Foley’s recent stand-up routine at Club Cumming during this year’s New York Comedy Festival featured a bit about the “ego death” she experiences every time she dons a strap-on in the bedroom.
“My entire experience with strap-ons is colored by ego death,” Foley deadpans.
“You know, some folks, they get in that thing, they feel really confident,” she jokes. “Girl, I wiggle in there, and I feel like Mrs. Potato Head.”
@bridgetmfoley this is a joke about how it feels to be in my body #comedy #standup #lesbian #queercomedy #lesbiansoftiktok #wlw #sapphic #fyp #standupcomedy
Well, now the image of Mrs. Potato Head strapping has taken up permanent residence in my brain.
Let’s be real: using a strap-on for the first time can be super awkward until you get used to it, but the reward is well worth practicing until you loosen up.
But for Foley, wearing one made her feel anything but the sexy and powerful vixen we know it can turn people into.
“I feel f—king discombobulated and confused. I’m waddling around the room like a dog in a Halloween costume,” she said as the audience cackled.
“Like girl, no one is convinced the chihuahua could ever be the sheriff. But it’s a nice idea. It’s cute.”
Sounds like the question of whether to strap or not is still up for debate!
Foley isn’t the only person to feel this way. “I fear this is the funniest and most accurate intimate shared experience to date,” one viewer wrote in the comments.“I can confirm I wasn’t meant to have a penis,” someone else agreed.
But other people had helpful tips for first-timers: “Try a full length mirror. How you look when you glance down is the least flattering. Loosen the straps be comfy. It always feels less secure than you want it,” wrote one viewer.
So whether you feel powerful and sexy right out of the gate or you can’t stop laughing because you feel like a chihuahua sheriff, strap-ones are a good time!
Ariel Messman-Rucker is an Oakland-born journalist who now calls the Pacific Northwest her home. When she’s not writing about politics and queer pop culture, she can be found reading, hiking, or talking about horror movies with the Zombie Grrlz Horror Podcast Network.
Ariel Messman-Rucker is an Oakland-born journalist who now calls the Pacific Northwest her home. When she’s not writing about politics and queer pop culture, she can be found reading, hiking, or talking about horror movies with the Zombie Grrlz Horror Podcast Network.
