Celebrities
Colton Haynes Details Sex-Worker Beginnings & Hollywood Abuse
"I’m trying to square who I am with the inauthentic version of myself I invested in for years."
cornbreadsays
December 06 2021 2:18 PM EST
May 26 2023 12:19 PM EST
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"I’m trying to square who I am with the inauthentic version of myself I invested in for years."
Colton Haynes, the out actor most known for his roles in Teen Wolf and Arrow, has opened up about his struggle to break into the industry for Vulture.
When Haynes was just 14-years-old, he danced as a gogo boy at bars in Kansas. In 2006, Haynes moved to Los Angeles and took his first LA job as a phone-sex operator, using his country upbringing to sell a farm boy persona. "It wasn’t how I had planned on making it in Hollywood, but it wasn’t a bad start," he said, "to be 18 years old, new in town, and earning enough money to pay my bills. I dipped in and out of dinners, shops, and meetings to take my calls. Standing on Santa Monica Boulevard outside a CVS, I growled into my cell phone to a caller, 'You want me to fatten you up like livestock getting ready for slaughter?' I kept it up as passersby eyed me strangely. 'Time for your Geritol.'"
After sending out resumes and headshots, a manager finally agreed to meet with him – but it was not what he expected. "The owners of the company — let’s call him Brad — was waiting for me with his assistant. He was wearing a skintight muscle tee and had gleaming-white veneers. He was middle-aged, and his hairline looked as if it had recently been rejuvenated."
Brad would have Haynes, as well as the dozens of other aspiring actors, audition for him, constantly critiquing how outwardly gay Haynes appeared.
"'Why are you using your hands so much when you talk? And your posture is too … loose,' he said. 'We’re definitely going to have to change your mannerisms. They’re a little too … theater.' Code for gay. I stood up straighter."
One of the conspicuous things Brad made the actors do was participate in a "sexy-scene night,” where they would act out sex scenes from movies. Haynes was paired with a man he calls Ethan, an actor he recognized from TV. His description of the events performed in front of the "class" is pretty graphic.
"We began with our lines. Eventually, I had to take off my pants. I stared into Ethan’s eyes, feeling everyone else’s eyes on my body. I pulled down my boxers, and I got on my knees. I turned Ethan, bare naked, toward the audience and began performing a fake oral-sex scene on him. Then he threw me down on all fours and simulated penetration while my d*ck flapped back and forth, slapping against my stomach. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at the audience."
At the end of the scene, Brad commented on the size of Ethan's testicles.
After putting Haynes through a series of tests, Brad still thought he acted too gay and eventually dropped him, telling him that if he was in need of money, he knew a place that could help. "He wrote down something on a business card, then handed it to me. 'It’s been a pleasure working with you,' he said. Back at my apartment, I looked at the card. On the back, he’d written 'rentboy.com,'" a site for sex workers.
Despite that horrific experience, Haynes took his career into his own hands and cold-called his way into his first acting gig on CSI: Miami. "The day after it aired, calls started pouring in from companies wanting to represent me."
Even after landing an agent, it was still a tough industry for Haynes to navigate. When Haynes was younger, he had done a revealing photoshoot for a gay magazine called XY. His management considered it "so radioactive it had lawyers send cease-and-desist letters to anyone who posted the images online."
Once, "at a photoshoot for a fashion editorial, the XY pictures were up on the mood board. A member of my team threw a fit. I understood because it was explained to me repeatedly — by managers, agents, publicists, executives, producers — that the only thing standing between me and the career I wanted was that I was gay."
They still wanted Haynes to present as heterosexual. "When I was photographed cozying up with Lauren Conrad at an event in 2011, I was told not to deny our rumored relationship — better to have the tabloids speculate about us," he says.
All the hiding and suppressing began to take a physical toll on Haynes. "My mental health deteriorated, and I grew dependent on alcohol and pills. When a doctor suggested my secret was making me sick, I knew he was right." This is when he was able to work up the courage to come out in 2016.
And Haynes believed his career suffered for it. After all that he'd done, "the work mostly dried up. When I was closeted, I beat out straight guys to play straight roles, and I played them well. Now, the only auditions I get are for gay characters, which remain sparse. Is that because I’m not very good? Maybe. But that didn’t stop me from booking roles before. It’s no different for the young gay actors I see coming up today, trying to make it in a system that isn’t built for them."
Now, Haynes is sharing his harrowing story to hopefully make things better for the next generation.
"To be a gay actor in Hollywood, even in 2021, is to be inundated with mixed messages," the 33-year-old said. "Consumers are mostly straight, so don’t alienate them. But lots of the decision-makers are gay, so play that game! Now that I’m older and sober, I’m trying to square who I am with the inauthentic version of myself I invested in for years. I often wonder how different things would’ve been if I were allowed to be who I was when I moved to town: a hopeful kid confident in his sexuality."
Read Colton Haynes full account here.
Taylor Henderson is a PRIDE.com contributor. This proud Texas Bama studied Media Production/Studies and Sociology at The University of Texas at Austin, where he developed his passions for pop culture, writing, and videography. He's absolutely obsessed with Beyoncé, mangoes, and cheesy YA novels that allow him to vicariously experience the teen years he spent in the closet. He's also writing one!
Taylor Henderson is a PRIDE.com contributor. This proud Texas Bama studied Media Production/Studies and Sociology at The University of Texas at Austin, where he developed his passions for pop culture, writing, and videography. He's absolutely obsessed with Beyoncé, mangoes, and cheesy YA novels that allow him to vicariously experience the teen years he spent in the closet. He's also writing one!