So, Who Killed That Bitch, Jenny Schecter?

Ilene Chaiken desperately needs a refresher course in how to play out a satisfying mystery.

Rule 1: The Audience must have equal opportunity to solve the mystery.

Well, thanks for robbing us of the satisfaction of knowing who got to shove that meddling Schecter into her watery grave. How can Chaiken expect her hordes of adoring L Word fans, who have invested six seasons to slowly cultivate their complicated disdain for Jenny, to be content with a parking lot shot of a bunch of sleek cars parking?

Although, as one viewer at Shewired’s finale party put it, “parking their cars? Oh that is SO L.A.”

But on the whole, the girls at East West lounge were pissed.

Jenny broke Shane and forced her into boring monogamy… Was anyone else psyched that Shane finally had lines again in last night’s episode? I feel like I haven’t seen her do anything but look alternately uncomfortable and ashamed for weeks.

Jenny threatened Bette and Tina’s blissful bond and in the only fulfilling reveal in last night’s episode, we found out she stole the Lez Girls negative. Bitch!

Jenny drove the delicious Dylan and Helena apart with her two-faced meddling. Really, who suggests a set up AND clues the suspect into the game? Only mad, mad Jenny. And more quality plot from Ms. Chaiken.

'Dylena' in happier times...

And, I know none of us can forgive Jenny for stealing our little Alice’s screenplay idea, even if the angelic Alice was willing to herself.

So, with all that devious set up and an entire season built around the mysterious murder of one Jenny Schecter… why no culmination?

Everyone hates a tease.

Oh and I almost didn’t notice, but why was Niki pulled out of the shrubs in Bette and Tina’s backyard? That is one random, question-spawning element to throw in the last 5 minutes…

But again, no answers.

The LA Times reported back in January that Chaiken wouldn’t be giving up the murderer of the doe-eyed, emotional cyclone that was Jenny Schecter.  Chaiken told the Times, "There are ways I could still answer it if the need were to arise," she said. "But I don't actually feel compelled to answer it. The show is about character and relationships, and I used this story to deeply explore those relationships. It's a risk not to solve a mystery, admittedly."

Yes, the L Word portrayed fascinating, complex relationships between alternately authentic and deliciously decadent, gorgeous women. And we’ve been collectively hooked through six seasons of making out, up, and lots of in-betweens.

So forgive us if we wanted a little closure from the fiercely beloved L Word. It was a big part of our lives and we invested quite a bit of couch time in this relationship. How could Chaiken leave us with zero closure? Doesn’t she know us at all?

I think we were robbed. L Word devotees deserved better for their dedication to a complex, groundbreaking and sometimes -- let’s be honest -- disappointing series. Chaiken chose to end it on a very uneasy grumble, instead of anadrenaline-spiked GASP of shock.

To put it in Hitchcock-ian terms (as a film school girl nerd I must) Jenny was The MacGuffin. And Chaiken gets an epic fail for denying her audience the satisfying climax we'd been working up following that MacGuffin from scene one.

Thanks for nothing...kind of.

Oh and PS: I think Bette did it. How bout you? Let’s hypothesize our own answers here while we wait for Alice’s spin-off.