Now that Pretty Little Liars’ Emily’s first love Maya has been housed away at juvie rehab / ex-gay camp -- for at least three episodes -- for holding what is likely the leftovers from her California medical marijuana license stash, there’s not too much to ‘Gay-Cap’ on the guilty little pleasure of a show. Especially since Em’s none too embracing mama Pam, played by the lovely Nia Peeples, has not been in the picture either…
However, there appears to be some lesbian tension on the horizon between Em (Shay Mitchell) and her swim team bully Paige (Lindsey Shaw). Last week’s episode had hyper-competitive Paige fondling Emily’s bra in the locker room – not while Em was wearing it—making homophobic comments and holding Em under the water during after-hours swim in a ‘me thinks the jock doth protest too much’ sort of way.
Cue this week’s episode Je Suis une Amie.
We’ll fast forward through the general drama with the girls’ blackmailer ‘A’ pitting Hanna (Ashley Benson) and Aria (Lucy Hale) against each other, and Spencer (Troian Bellisario) continually sniping with her sister, who’s married to the man who may or may have not been the last person to see their bitchy friend Alison alive.
It’s back to the pool for Emily, who’s been sublimating some ‘energy’ since Maya was sent away, and Em is fast becoming the swim team star. She and Paige are neck and neck during practice, so the coach suggests a swim-off to determine who’ll be the anchor at the upcoming meet.
As we learned last week Paige is no fan of healthy competition when it threatens to ruin her status as top jock, and Emily does not need another after-hours dunking at the hands of Paige – who I just realized looks not unlike Selma Blair in Cruel Intentions with that dated bob and bangs coiffure she’s sporting.
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Later, Em tells Spencer about the swim-off, which Spence thinks is a bad idea. All of her faith is in Emily. “What’s the point of a swim-off?” she asks. And sweet Emily says that Paige wants it more, practically conceding at that point. But Spence, competitive around a trigonometry problem and with a field hockey stick in her hand, says “You want it more.” And something tells me, no, Emily really doesn’t care that much. She’s just trying to forget about her girl by sporting a Speedo onesie and goggles.
That night Emily’s phone lights up, and this time, it’s not ‘A.’ It turns out Paige is outside in the rain. She risked riding her bike in the rain to tell Emily, “You have every reason to hate me. I don’t even know why I’m here.” Get there faster Paige!
Emily’s adorable and she’s out, and rather than tell her how cute she was and ask to take her to the local ice cream Shoppe to double sip on a malt with matching straws, you chose to water board her in the school pool like a Jr. Republican.
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But sweet Em says “I don’t hate you.” Now self-flagellating Paige says she hates herself and takes off soaking wet in the rain… on her bike. That’s never a good idea.
And before you can break to a commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teen Em’s back in the locker room with the coach announcing that Paige will not be swimming due to an injury she sustained while riding her bike. That means Em is the anchor! But Emily looks more concerned than jubilant. She really is too sweet for high school sports.
Cue the swim meet where Hanna, Spencer and Aria are staked out in the bleachers cheering their partner in mendacity on. A nervous and seemingly preoccupied Emily spies Paige walking in to watch the meet.
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And while she may not have the cutthroat competitive spirit of the American jock Emily helps her team win the meet in a performance that’s filmed like and underwater fashion shoot.
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Immediately following her personal victory Em looks to the stands to find Paige, decked out in a Sue Sylvester-esque track suit – cheering for Emily and smiling wide.
Ever the trusting soul, Emily approaches Paige alone at the pool for a very different encounter from the mini-drowning Paige gave her last week. Paige is dipping her feet in the pool when Em asks if she’s okay. It turns out Paige is physically fine, save for a nasty little road rash on her forehead where she’s sporting a Band-Aid, but Paige may have some bigger fish to fry. She tells Em she just wiped out on her bike and that is was no big deal.
“What were you thinking about?” Emily asks. “How easy it would be if I wiped out,” Paige says, implying she’s got something weighing heavily on her.
“I’m kind of done with swimming,” Paige says. “Yeah, I used to feel that way,” Em says, explaining that she started to swim for herself and stopped trying to be the best on the team and started having fun. But what Em fails to explain is that she found her way back to swimming when she was blackmailed into coming out after ‘A’ began distributing her kissing booth photos of her and Maya, subsequently fell in love, came out to her entire school and parents, including a homophobic mom who had her girlfriend hauled off to juvie for some weed stashed in an Altoid tin. But sure, Em’s short answer works too.
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And then something a little weird happens, and that’s a lot for a show that boasts a surreal narrative to begin with. Em asks Paige, “When was the last time you swam for fun?”
Cut to what amounts to a music video for the Speedo fetish set with Em and Paige swimming side by side for ‘fun.’
Emily hits the wall and ecstatically watches Paige’s strokes.
And it’s not clear if Em is admiring Paige’s prowess in the pool, if she’s happy to be the pedagogue guiding the tough jock on possibly coming out, or if she’s developing a lil’ crush on her former bully who’s sports a haircut from 1997.
Whatever the answer, we shall have to wait until next week to understand the significance of the artsy homage to swimmers everywhere.
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