When singer/songwriter/producer Paula Cole picks up the phone, you are instantaneously drawn into her realm of calm, peace and clarity. Her voice is practiced, deliberate and extensive. There are moments when you, as the interviewer, may happen to stumble upon nervousness with said subject, but they are transient and, at the same time, captivating. On the verge of her comeback album appropriately named Ithaca, Cole is pregnant with anticipation and dread at the exact same time. It is a dichotomous partnership she has become accustomed to throughout her 42 years on earth. Will her feelings be understood by the fans that may or may not be there to welcome her back into their music fold? How will popular radio accept her philosophical introspections starring love, loss, humor, depression, and the like in the adventurous play of life?
On the subject of depression and suicide, Cole is expressly eager to share her concerns and knowledge with counterparts all over the world whom she has never even met. She shares herself, anxious fears and all, and has been there, considered that and has emerged on the other side of the debilitating processes involved throughout. She considers the ponderings of everyday life the most important lessons one may ever learn and decides that it is all worth it. A second chance at love, life, music, and comfort are born in the arms of her fans, followers, daughter, and partner. Ithaca marks a new transition point in the life of Boston native Cole.
It has been three years since your last album release, “Courage.” Before we begin talking about the new album, what has changed in your personal life over the past three years?
Gosh, well, let’s see. When I made Courage, I was coming out of a long hiatus and I was in a vulnerable place and I think of myself at that time as a broken little bird who needed a friend and some help. That friend was Bobby Colomby [music producer] who was really an angel of sorts and kind of lured me out from my depression to get me back to making music again. I suppose I never stopped making music, but it was always very private at home. I just had such mixed feelings about being in the music business again. So, making Courage was a collaborative effort. I had nothing to lose. I gladly let him take the reins of production and the album had a very different feel. I also did a lot of co-writing then, which I had never done before because it was always a very private process.
I’ve been performing again since 2007 and it’s literally helped me find my more metaphorical voice. It helps get me connected to my subconscious and my feelings much more. I am more able to speak my needs and be a happier, healthier person. Now I am sure that music is what I am meant to do. After the past three years of working, I feel like I’ve gotten my groove back a bit. I was ready and hungry to write all of the songs myself, to produce and have my hand in the production of Ithaca.
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With it being Suicide Awareness Month, I wondered if you might feel comfortable sharing some of your thoughts regarding suicide in the LGBT community?
Oh, that is such a great question. Wow, I am so glad you are asking me this question. I didn’t realize that it was Suicide Awareness Month. That is so beautiful. I am so moved by my folks that come to my shows and there is definitely a healthy contingent of lesbians and gay men coming to the shows.
Music is the universal language and all of us, regardless of our situation, when we hear music – it is some kind of powerful healer. I urge people to go to music when they are feeling that much pain and sadness. There is a way through. I know it. Honestly, I don’t think a life is well-lived without the contemplation of “what does it all mean?” and, you know, to look at it on that level means that you are going to have a better, more thought out life than most. If you are asking yourselves that question, then that means that you are a highly sensitive and intelligent person. There are a lot of us out there that ask those questions and feel it there. If anyone can find a connection through an art form, and I recommend music because it’s so visceral and powerful, it can help one though those moments. The feelings of depression we all experience are meant to be ephemeral. They shouldn’t last a long time. Those feelings are usually there to serve as some kind of highlighting service. There is good in the depression for that. So, welcome to the club and we will get through this together. I mean, I need the music. It heals me and is a dialogue with my subconscious. Life is so beautiful and I just feel for anyone who is there at that point and I have been there. Just don’t give up. Stay connected. It gets better. It really does get better. I don’t think anyone worth a damn hasn’t been depressed. It is an examined way of life and it bears fruit.
The other thing I want to say is that there is a relationship between anxiety and depression. It’s like a pendulum swinging back and forth. The two are related. Usually depression occurs when one is not confronting one’s fears and is cowering back into the recesses of one’s interior. It is actually healthier to face one’s fears. That is what I read in my psychology self-help books which I frequent! [Laughs]. It comes from the same sensitive place within.
Were there any songs written for Ithaca during the time of your divorce? If so, was it helpful for you throughout the pain and life transition?
Yes, there was a lot of life lived. I was experiencing the nadir of the divorce. The first two songs of the album [Ithaca] are called “The Hard Way” and “Waiting on a Miracle” and they were the inception of the album. Writing those two songs originated from a very sad place. I had to stop supporting Courage because I had to be in divorce court. I was stuck. So, it was a huge drain of energy, finances and prana. Once I had those two songs, I really felt like I had something and then it mutated and then life was lived. The divorce was finalized. I gained perspective and freedom so that I could then write about it then from a distance and with some humor like writing about pre-nuptial agreements. I went through the process of “who do I trust?” and “who can I give my heart to?” Then I went through my celibacy phase and dealt with learning how to trust and love again. Ithaca is highly autobiographical. It’s the only way I can be in my music. I can’t sit down and craft too well. I feel slimy if I do that and like I may as well work at the mall. For me, I am struggling through this life and am not always good at living it. In the processing of living life comes the music and it helps me.
Do you have any trepidation in regards to releasing your innermost personal thoughts and emotions to the world via Ithaca?
I’m a little nervous, honestly, now that it’s coming time for there to be an album release. I wrote these songs because I just needed to and I had to heal my heart. Now it’s time to share it and sing it. Being interviewed is always scary to me. I hate looking at myself!
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Some of your favorite artist inspirations are singer/songwriters John Lennon, Joni Mitchell, Dolly Parton and Neil Young. What draws you to these incredible artists?
They are all artists who reach down deep and are courageous about expressing their feelings. Sometimes doing that is very unpopular. Gosh, when John Lennon was promoting his Plastic Ono Ban album and sang in the song “God” that “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me, Yoko and me, that’s reality.” That was unpopular at the time, you know, but it was just so damn courageous. He took five years off to raise his son and I can really relate to that. Even Joni [Mitchell] when she did her Mingus album was unpopular but it was so brave and right and real. Dolly Parton’s song “The Bargain Store” was banned on a lot of radio stations because it was deemed too sexual for a woman to be singing, “The bargain store is open come inside. You can easily afford the price. Love is all you need to purchase all the merchandise. And I will guarantee you'll be completely satisfied.” You know? [Laughs]. You just didn’t hear that on popular radio at the time. These people were just so courageous, real and brave. They inspire me to just try and be honest about everything. I usually end up regretting it because I am embarrassed, though.
There are so many people out there just waiting to hear your new music and see what you unveil about your life and experiences leading up to the album release as captured via Ithaca.
Thank you, Sarah. Well, Sarah, I mean, when I had that hiatus, it was like a near death experience in the pop music business and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to come back. I feel like this is a little bit of a more authentic second adulthood career. I am incredibly grateful for people who still believe and care about me and my music. It has been humbling to go back and tour. I play smaller venues and I connect to these people. There is so much love in the room and there is so much joy in the room at those shows.
Do you have a favorite city or two to tour when you’re promoting an album?
I love Seattle! I really do. I can’t wait to go there again. I love New York City. I lived most of my adulthood in New York City. It’s a tough place to live, but it is so great! I love it so much. I have family in the Bay Area so I love going there and I have lived there as well. The Boston area is home for me so that is easy. I am so lucky. I have this job that makes me this foreign exchange student. Sometimes I get to go into parts of America that so few travelers get to go to like the interior of the Midwest or northern Michigan. I feel more comfortable in certain micro-cultures more than others, but I am so lucky to see so many different places.
Peter Gabriel asked you to join him on his Secret World Tour in 1993. You toured the world from 1994-1996 with Gabriel and built a pretty solid fan base just in time for the release of your 1997 critically acclaimed album, “This Fire.” Can you recall that touring experience with Gabriel and give us a little insight regarding the affect the tour had on your career?
I know Peter Gabriel’s albums inside and out. He has been a huge influence on me as well. I had already made Harbinger, but it wasn’t really released. The producer of Harbinger got it to Peter’s guitar player and then it went on to Peter and they all loved it. He left a message on my voicemail when I was living in San Francisco. He asked me if I wanted to go on tour with him. I was flown out to Germany to meet up with the tour. It was the very first tour of my life. We had one rehearsal and then I was thrown onstage in front of 16,000 Germans. We filmed The Secret World Live DVD one week later in Modena, Italy. I was younger than everybody else and one of the only females. I think there were four females and over 60 men on that tour. That is just kind of how it is! That was my first tour. It’s been kind of all downhill from there! [Laughs]. I love Peter’s music and it was really a dream come true. He really is his name – he is an angel and a kind, fascinating man. He was a teacher to me.
Considering “I Don't Want to Wait” was the theme song for the television show Dawnson’s Creek, were you a fan of the show? How did it feel to hear your music in the opening credits of the popular Katie Holmes show?
I am ashamed to admit that I have never seen Dawson’s Creek, but I am incredibly grateful for the gig. It helped save me! I had those years off and my daughter was very sick with asthma and I couldn’t work. That show was playing and keeping me alive financially so that I could take care of her. So, that has been a real blessing - that show. I feel profoundly grateful for it. I just don’t watch television. I’m not wired that way. I tend to read. Most people that watch TV tend not to read and most people that read tend not to watch very much TV and I definitely fall into the reading category. Also, being on the road, too, I just didn’t watch TV. Maybe one of these days I will catch it in reruns!
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