Thanks to a brainchild blogger, Seattle based Amy Baillett, lesbians and gays and the straight people who love them, put down the Bloody Mary’s during prime brunch time Saturday and hit the streets in 50 states to protest that nasty piece of hateful legislation that renders California’s homo couples terminally single – in the eyes of the State, the Fed and the Church that is.
While fire is not one of the 10 Plagues of Egypt, I submit that Southern California’s raging wild fires and interminable heat are God’s little way of telling the “Yes on H8ers” that they done pissed off the gods…of good fashions sense, musical theater and folk music. And a whole pile of heinous shit will continue to reign down on them. So, while I grew up an acolyte in the Episcopal Church, I don’t really go in much for religion. In fact, one of my first girlfriends -- a good Catholic girl who preferred public sex followed by flagellation and church -- once called me a heathen after an especially good Saturday night.
But here’s the thing, you know sure as Lindsay Lohan is the gift that keeps giving that if Prop. 8 had been defeated and same-sex couples throughout California went on freely loving each other in committed relationships and bolstering the economy with lavish weddings and gifts, the Evangelicals would have blamed the gays for the fires. So I'm just turning the tables.
Of all the anti-Prop. 8 press splashed on the news -- save for here in So-Cal where the wild fires reasonably upstaged the protests -- the big shout out is in order for one Ms. Funny Woman Wanda Sykes who came out not only as a big lez but a married one at that at the Las Vegas rally. Wanda turned up unannounced and rolled the dice on coming out…and without hammering out the details of an Ok or People magazine variation on the “Yes I’m a Dyke” cover theme.
Good on Wanda. She’s been spotted out and about in West Hollywood loving the ladies for years and unlike some famous fence sitters -- ahem, Queen -- cough-- Latifah -- choke -- Michelle Rodriguez --hack --Wanda, a fervent champion of gay and lesbian equality, never tried to hide her true colors.
Even as recently as Ellen Degeneres’ Halloween show, Wanda went on a wickedly funny rant about how tough it is for some gay folks to come out…that she’s never had to come out as black and how she’s never had anyone shout at her “God made Adam and Eve. God didn’t make Adam and Mary J. Blige.”
For her big gay coming out party at Saturday’s Vegas rally, Wanda’s less than surprising admission was met with whoops and hollers from the crowd. And Wanda did not pussyfoot around about those Prop. 8 yaysayers saying they pissed her off. “You know what? Now I got to get in your face. They pissed off the wrong group of people,” she said.
Topping off her four-minute plus speech, which is destined to become on of the all-time greats -- up there with The Gettysburg Address and John McCain’s concession speech replete with a misty-eyed Sarah Palin -- spitfire bad-ass Wanda said. “I am proud to be a woman. I’m proud to be a black woman and I’m proud to be gay. Now let’s go get our damned civil rights!” Touché Wanda…
Meanwhile, in another time zone in a galaxy that often seems light-years away in the County of Los Angeles, a crowd of about 12,000 gay and gay friendly types put down the cocktail, forwent their cars and hopped on LA's public transportation --yes we do in fact have it -- jamming into the city’s metro and headed downtown on an End of Days kind of fucking hot 92-degree November day to demand their civil rights.
A collective climax-- the likes of which haven’t been possible since Jane Fonda’s Barbarella took to the “Excessive” orgasm machine in the late sixties -- shook the Los Angeles City Hall green when Xena herself, Lucy Lawless turned up to deliver her girl-on-girl war cry, followed by a few inspiring words about the state of gay marriage and such.
While many fired up citizens and celebs alike hit the streets for gay rights around the country, I’m compelled to repost my proud moment when that tough-ass cutie-pie with the big pipes, Pink, posed for me and my silly digital cam once she realized I wasn’t merely a stalker fangirl. Props to Pink and her Sam Ronson doppelganger for kicking it at the rally -- in five inch ‘Don’t Fuck With Me’ Heels no less – and for coming up with a sign so rich with innuendo and double entendre it’s sure to be studied in Queer Theory classes for decades to come “I Hate Hate. Fuck Prop. 8.” Pure poetry Pink…
Now that I’ve rambled on about rallies for 800 words, here’s a quickie round-up of other lesbianish happenings.
First up, the Princess of “Yep I’m sorta bi” or “Yep it’s the person not the penis,” or “Yes, I’m in a relationship with a dyke but does that make me a dyke myself?” the Lush, the Lez Lindsay Lohan got a load of flour in her face for sporting fur -- and while that has the makings of a new porn term, it just means she pissed off PETA. And that is never good, because they’re like Scientology and Oprah.
more on next page...
\\\
(continued)
I fully expect the Linds will be scooped off of Robertson Blvd, tossed into the back of an unmarked van and programmed to eschew leather, sushi and beef Carpaccio. It’s one thing to avoid the pitfalls of lesbian stereotyping if you are in fact shacking up with a woman but Lindsay’s wearing fur to prove she's not a vegan-loving “no dairy” type of girl was bound to backfire.
That said, Linds has more in common with her diminutive fur-bearing nemesis Ashley “Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend” Olsen than anyone realized.
A girl can never have too much Kate Winslet. Last week I proclaimed that Kate, with two Oscar bait movies on the docket, is my panacea for the killer economy and for handling my second-class citizenship. She's like streaming puppies and kittens.
So, here's a tasty nugget…Stunning Oscar winner Halle Berry recently let slip that she admires Kate’s nudist tendencies. “Kate Winslet is always naked, sitting on a toilet, running buck-naked. She’s free,” Halle said. “I want to be the kind of actress who can really be comfortable with my body like that.”
Here’s a thought Halle...perhaps you could turn to Kate for some tactile pointers...oh, and turn on the camera while you’re at it. Now that’s more heartwarming than puppies and kittens on an incredible journey together could ever be.
And God love a girl who can cook -- and one who gets to kick it even for a minute with Padma Lakshmi. Top Chef is back for it’s ?? season? I can’t keep track of these reality shows. Anyway Top Chef’s back with a cute, tattooed avowed lesbian to represent. The kitchen’s resident Lesbo Jaime and a duo of gay boys, one of whom was kicked to the curb in the season premiere, christened themselves Team Rainbow and went to town.
And it might just be me, being single and too lazy to hit up West Hollywood’s The Abbey, get loaded on Mango Mojitos and make out with strangers to burn off Mojito calories but -- whew -- Regent Releasing’s I Can’t Think Straight, starring Lisa Ray and Sheetal Sheth, out on Nov. 21st, got me so worked up I had to apply an icecube to my pressure points and watch it twice.
Tala (Ray) and Leyla (Sheth) derive from divergent cultures and backgrounds in which girl on girl is not too widely accepted. Demure Leyla and outspoken Tala buck tradition, cheat on their prospective hubbies and hop into bed following innuendo, sideways glances and metaphorical blue balls. It’s the standard lesbian genre subset these days. Still, these women, who star together in the period drama about divergent cultures, rife with tradition in The World Unseen, are incredibly easy on the eyes.
And yes, Regent is SheWired’s parent company, and yes, this is a shameless plug but really, those gals are smokin’ hot and all that pent-up repression they’re expressing is just explosive when it comes to a head…for the characters I mean.
Missed the last Media Blender? Read it here.
