A Gay Girl's 'Glee'cap: Mashup

Unfortunately this week’s episode did not dazzle me half as much as last week’s did. This could be in part due to the over usage of Slurpee throwing, or it may be the fact that Jane Lynch did not get nearly as much screen time as I’d wanted, although we did get to see her in a fabulous outfit – more on that later. But here’s what you need to know about Wednesday’s episode of Glee:

By some cruel act of fate, Sue falls in love with a fellow anchorman --yes, man --at the local news station while filming her fantastic segment, “Sue’s Corner” – where she was incidentally discussing her advocacy for marriage rights, while at the same time saying she believes that “intimacy has no place in a marriage.” The anchorman woos her over fondue and she becomes so head over heels for him that suddenly my dreams come true and we see Coach Sylvester in her Adidas track suit swing dancing with Mr. Shue. The two talk about how it’s nice that they’re finally not at each other’s throats anymore, while I roll my eyes and wish that they were.

Meanwhile, the World’s Most Awkward Couple award goes to Ken and Emma as they walk into the lunchroom and ask Mr. Shue to teach them how to dance for the World’s Most Awkward Wedding. The two clearly have different ideas of what to dance to, because while Ken grosses us all out by saying he wants the "Thong Song" so he can “shake his money maker,” Emma wins our hearts by saying that her pick is “I Could Have Danced All Night.” Mr. Shue agrees and says it’ll be his wedding present to them. I think it’s kind of cute, but my friend Tyler says it’s cheap. He may be right.

Everyone keeps talking about “mashups.” Mashups this, mashups that. I start to worry that mashups will become some new term we use in our every day life. Like when we mix chocolate ice cream with some peanut butter and you say, “Oh man I made the most amazing mashup.” Anyway…

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As for the kids, Kurt is still adorable, and I’m getting very tired of Puck’s scary faux-hawk thing. Puck says that his mother always wanted him to date a nice Jewish girl, and in the most fantastic dream sequence, he imagines Rachel climbing in through his window, hair flowing, in a glorious white dress, and wearing a giant Star of David bling necklace.

It’s then that he decides that she’s the girl for him. And oddly enough, the chemistry between them is fantastic. He gets her to practice with him after school for something having to do with another mashup, and boom – the two are making out willy-nilly.

She stops him [thankfully] and says that she can’t go any further because she needs a strong man – specifically one that can hold his own and sing a solo in Glee. Next thing I know, he’s singing “Sweet Caroline” while the girls go all googly-eyed and everyone happily chimes in with the “bah-bah-bah”s, myself and Carmon included.

Mr. Shue starts off his dance lesson by dancing around Emma to “The Thong Song.” Even though this is a very strange scene for all parties involved, she remains adorable and the two fall on the floor, into each other’s arms, giggling. Did I mention that Emma is wearing a replica Lady Di wedding dress?

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They almost kiss as we see that Ken is looking in through the window, clearly upset. Unfortunately there is a locker room scene between Shue and Ken and I completely stop listening. I can gather that Ken is upset that he saw Mr. Shue and Emma getting canoodly, so he decides to schedule football practice at the same time as Glee practices – leaving the football players with a touch decision. I hope that they choose Glee because I’m slowly falling in love with the idea of Puck and Rachel together.

Sue walks into the newsroom in a cherry red zoot suit. That’s right: a cherry-red zoot suit. She sees her beau making out with some other newswoman and is immediately heartbroken. He apologizes and mentions that he never said they were exclusive, but clearly that’s not how “Sue C’s” it. Her happy phase is quickly over as she storms out, and subsequently fires Quinn from Cheerios because, as she so lovingly puts it, “I can’t have a pregnant girl on my squad – you’re a disgrace.” And even though I’m glad that Sue is up to her old self again, this was so mean and I feel awful for Quinn. I secretly hope she has a huge comeback number soon…I suggest Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time.”

In the end, the football players choose Glee, there’s hope for a Puck and Rachel romance, and Quinn is finally out of her Cheerios outfit and in normal people clothes with her hair cascading down her shoulders. All is right with the world. Accept that Shue still doesn’t know that his wife really isn’t pregnant and Finn doesn’t know that Quinn’s baby really isn’t his. But I’m hoping they’ll tackle that next.

Best Scene:

Hands down, Sue in the zoot suit. I don’t think that the outfit had any relevance to the plot at all [there was something about a dance competition I think] but that doesn’t matter to me. The sight of her in that brought me back to seeing her in those huge suits she wore as Joyce Wischnia onThe L Word.

Best Song:

“I Could Have Danced All Night” won for me. I was not a fan of seeing Mr. Shue breakdance to “Bust A Move” and I thought that Puck’s “Sweet Caroline” was sweet, but could have had a little more flash and pizzazz.

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