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Watch Cathy DeBuono bring you her vlog What's Your Problem live on SheWired Tuesday night at 7:30 PST. Streaming live, Cathy and film maker and long time friend, Jane Clark, will respond to a letter from a girl with anger problems which she feels are caused by her parents abusing her as a toddler, and a lesbian wanting to come out to her homophobic mother and stepfather.
Letter 1:
Dear Cathy
Ever since I joined the CDBC, I have gotten to know some amazing women and I'm enjoying getting to know them. One told me not so long ago that I should get some help with my anger issues and looking back on my LJ and facebook posts I believe she is right. I'm not as angry as I used to be as since what happened when I was 10. I'm scared shitless of it happening again.
Part of me thinks most of my anger is to do with my parents, neither of them wanted me. I was a mistake, something that shouldn't have happened from a fling. Moments after my birth my mother wanted to go home, she told the nurses and doctors she didn't give a shit what happened to me. I was 3 weeks old when the abuse started, my mother was smoking and the smoke caused me to cry, she put her cigarette out on me. When people noticed, she told them it was to stop me crying. The first 3 years of my life were hell, I was burnt, cut, beaten and I nearly died twice before I was 1.
I have a half sister who is 4 years older than me, and don't get me wrong, my mother was never the best, but she never laid a hand on her. Until I was born, my sister was cut. I love my sister to bits, if it wasnt for her or my grandmother I would be dead.
Growing up after I was taken from my parents, I always thought that what happened was my fault, that there must have been something wrong with me for none of them to want me. I did find out afew years ago that my father did, but he couldn't have me because of his epilepsy. But that shouldn't have stopped him coming to see his only child, I haven't seen him since I was 5 years old.
My mother fucked off and started a new family that I wasn't welcomed into when i was 3. I only found out I had 2 half brothers and a half sister 4 years ago at my big sister's wedding. She had the nerve to call me her daughter, and say I am who I am today because of her. I'll tell you one thing - she was partly right, but in the end it all boils down to my grandmother because from the moment I was taken off my mother, and for bits in the 3 years looked after me, she's my mum.
I also found out a few months back that when my father was 17 he messed around with a 3 year old girl. He didn't use his "manhood" just a finger. He was lucky he didn't go to jail, and that was only because of my mum. Ever since I found out, I've been wondering if he ever did it to me. My mum said he didn't because when I was taken off them I was tested for sexual abuse, which came back clear but I've been lied to before, so I don't know if it is true or not.
Anything to do with my parents really fucks up my head, I get so pissed at them that I want to find them and hurt them. I get so angry I end up hitting things, never people. When I was 10 was the last time. I'm surprised I haven't broke my hand. I mean, I took chunks out of brick walls, even put my hand through a window, and still no damage. Nowadays I try to use words. I rant and rave, I swear, shout and I still punch things. Even though she says I didn't, I think I scared her with some of the stuff I wrote, but thats tame compared to what goes through my head, and I'm starting to scare myself alittle bit. I need help but I dont really know where to start.
Thank you for your time. Love,
Rita
Letter 2:
Coming out to homophobic mother and stepdad. What to do when you are a teen living in this kind of situation? Should I come out or not? My real dad is fine with the LGBT community, I just don't know how to approach him with it.
Anonymous
