5 tips for bisexual women who want to date women

You've got this!

So you’re a bisexual woman who’s never dated anyone but cis men, or maybe it’s just been a while. Though some people may act like there’s a huge difference in dating people of different genders, at the end of the day, dating is dating. Still, we understand why you’re feeling a little nervous. Dating in itself is scary, but it’s also ridiculously fun and exciting.

To help you out, we came up with 5 tips to help you calm your nerves so you can spend less time stressing, and more time getting pumped.

1. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.

Dating happens because we put ourselves on the line. We risk rejection, we risk embarrassment, and we meet new people with the hope that we’ll discover that special magic that makes relationships worth all of the hard work and energy. Gather up your courage and prepare to throw yourself into the world of dating women. We promise — it’s not all that different.

2. Try not to freak out if things don’t happen overnight.

So you’ve decided that you want to hook up with another woman. Awesome! You got all sexy and you’re strolling around looking for someone you could be into — or, you know, swiping on your phone — and you’re ready to go. But things may not happen immediately. Try not to be hard on yourself in the face of rejection, and try not to stress if you’re just not finding someone you’re into. You may be dying to date a woman, but dating is dating, and dating takes time. Try to be patient, and you never know what could happen.

3. Let things happen naturally.

Remember how we said to be patient? Finding the right person, especially if you want to date (and not just hook up) doesn’t happen immediately for good reason. Do you really want to jump into a relationship with someone who’s totally not right for you? Let things find their pace and just go with the flow, and you’ll probably end up surprising yourself when a totally rad woman seems to come out of nowhere.

4. Prepare for biphobia.

No, not every lesbian or woman who dates women is biphobic. But biphobia, which often presents itself as a complete judgment of bisexual people, is rampant in the queer community, and it’s better to prepare yourself than to go in totally naive. Some people think that bi women are “slutty” and “greedy,” and that they "refuse to pick a side." If you come across a biphobic woman, just keep moving. Find someone who respects who you are and who won’t question your identity.

5. Know what you’re ready for.

Maybe you’ve never had sex with a woman. Maybe you’ve never even kissed another girl before. Know what you’re ready for ahead of time, or be straightforward with the woman you’re hooking up with when the time comes. She may have something she’s into, like using sex toys, that you’ve never done before, or she may have sex in a way that just doesn’t work for you. If you need to go slow to get used to things, don’t be embarrassed! And if you want to jump right in, then do it with no shame. Regardless of the pace you think is right for you, know that it’s valid, and there’s no one way to go about sleeping with women.