I love Amber Rose. I love that she’s sex-positive. I love how she’s fought against slut-shaming. And I love that she’s been open about her previous sexual and romantic partners, which have consisted of both men and women.
I considered her an LGBT activist, and more specifically, a bisexual activist. That’s why I was so disappointed to see that she stated, in the podcast Loveline with Amber Rose, that she wouldn’t date a bisexual man.
In case you missed it, here’s what went down.
During the podcast, a Facebook Live user submitted the question, “Would you ever date a bisexual guy?”
Rose responded “No,” but then clarified, “Personally—no judgment—I wouldn’t be comfortable. I just wouldn’t be comfortable with it, and I don’t know why.”
It seemed like sex therapist Dr. Chris Donaghue, the co-host of the show, was actually surprised by her response. That’s why he pried a little as to why she wouldn't be open to dating bi men.
Finally, Rose said, “Maybe I’m not secure enough to be with a man that likes other men because I would feel like when he’s out with his boys, it’s just more of a moment.”
There’s a part of me that wants to congratulate Rose for her honesty -- for opening up a dialogue about dating bisexual men -- for revealing some of the stigmas bisexual men face. There’s also a part of me that thinks that you should be allowed to date whomever you choose. If you know you wouldn’t feel comfortable in a relationship, then it’s good to know that you shouldn't pursue that type of relationship.
But the other part of me isn’t so thrilled. The reason why: Rose should know better. She should realize that he reasoning for fearing dating bisexual guys isn’t based on facts or reality, but grounded in negative and false stereotypes about bisexual men. More specifically, she believes that a bisexual man will always leave a woman for a man. This is simply not true.
Her unwillingness to date bisexual men isn’t actually a preference. It simply reveals how much she’s bought into the lies about bisexual men. It reveals how large the double standard is, especially, as someone who has dated both men and women in the past. She even mentioned in the podcast that she, herself, has been rejected by men because of her own bisexuality.
Yet still, she wouldn’t date a bi guy.
At the end of the day, it’s plain sad. Sad not only because Amber Rose and I will never date, but also sad because it reveals how truly embedded these negative stereotypes of bisexual men are, that a woman as confident, open-minded, and sexually liberated as Amber Rose wouldn’t feel comfortable dating a bi guy.
