10 Things I Learned from My Bisexual Roommates

Imagine this: a straight woman from a male-dominated, heteronormative “third-world” country moves to the United States and starts living with a boy and a girl, both of whom are bisexual.

How many stereotypical scenarios just crossed your mind right now?

Yeah, that was me a year ago. Just your average, ignorant college student raving on and on about social justice (international privilege) at three in the morning, when in reality not knowing the difference between “political correctness” (for the sake of it) and genuinely understanding and advocating for change. 

My hillbilly self moved in with my current best-friends about a year ago, and I don’t think anything can top that on my ‘grateful list’, because so much of what I know, even about myself, is all because of them…and a lack of personal space.

1. Just because someone is bi, doesn’t mean they want to f*ck you.

That one hit my ego just a little bit, won’t lie.

2. Your ex is a pig, regardless of her/his gender.

Your ex-boyfriend isn’t a little b*tch because he’s a "man," He’s a little b*tch because he’s a little b*tch. The same goes for your ex-girlfriend. Keep gender blaming and you’ll end up alone.

3. Bisexual people aren’t "supper slutty," or "just in it" for threesomes.

Either that claim is fake, or my apartment has been cursed by a mysterious dry spell. Because the only ‘…somes’ we’re getting is lonesome.

4. Bisexual women don’t have it any “easier.”

Those videos and magazines lied to you. It becomes a tad bit difficult to find a soul mate when people start looking at you like a disposable sex-object (who’s probably just “experimenting”) created just for their pleasure, and stop seeing you as a human being.

5. Bisexuality is real.

Another friend once asked me, “wait, she’s a bisexual? Like a real one?!” *rolls eyes* Believe me, I was shocked to discover that as well.

6. We live in an entitled heteronormative world without acknowledging anyone who might be different.

Case and point:

7. Gender roles are just a concept.

My roommate is a six-foot-tall man with the figure of a rower. In his spare time, he enjoys petting little dogs, listening to Kelly Clarkson, and applying face masks with me. (Oh, and also tiny dudes. He really likes tiny dudes.) Bisexuality doesn’t "challenge" your masculinity. Who defined this as misrepresenting your gender in the first place?

8. Embrace your sexuality...

I think one of the most difficult parts of coming out is accepting your own sexual identity. When so many people breathe the idea of a heterosexual world down your neck, you have to learn to fight conventionalism. No matter if it’s against the idea that you belong with one gender, or that your gender (looking at you, women) is meant to ignore the existence of your sexuality.

9. …but at the same time, don't let sexuality define your identity.

Okay, you’re a straight white male? What am I to do with that information? Your sexual orientation is one of the many things you recognize about yourself, that’s it. It doesn’t encompass your entire personality. The two work mutually independent from one another.

10. Your sexual identity AND sexual endeavors are YOUR business.

And the person/people you’re doing it with. You don’t have to justify putting the M(e) between (or any other preposition) the D and V.