The "B" in LGBT is often passed over. A lot of lez girls on the scene will roll their eyes if you even mention the word "bisexual" and bi guys still feel the need to keep it under wraps when dating a girl. But if they had the sense not to show pointless discrimination (based on insecurity) about our both-ways ways, we could let them in on a few secrets only bisexuals know.
1. Men are more insecure than women
On the first date, a woman has her friends and Cosmo to prepare her. We have armour. But guys tend to talk more about sports and tits than how to act on a first date, so usually turn up a bit of a trembling mess inside. Although they needn’t worry. If they’re dating a bi girl, they can probably still talk about sports and tits and the date would go perfectly.
2. Going Dutch is tacky
The modern woman will insist on paying her share when on a date with a guy, because feminism. And gay girls still haven’t really figured out the rules of who pays for dinner on a first date. But splitting the bill is tacky … paying for dinner and telling him/her “It’s your turn next” makes sure you’re clear about wanting that second date. Or insisting you’ll take them out next time to that sushi place she mentioned she loved is thoughtful, romantic and really damn smooth. So offer to pick up the bill, but if they insist, don’t make it awkward. And, if he/she suggests you split it — news slash — they don’t plan on seeing you again.
3. Women can be terrible listeners
Men tend to sit on a first date trying not to cock things up or say anything stupid, whereas women have usually prepared an arsenal of witty stories and conversation starters. When I date a woman, it’s hard to shut her up and she’ll usually have some sort of script. Whereas men tend to just go with the flow, actually listen and have a balanced conversation. Hopefully, it's about tits.
4. Women are more active
You’d expect men to want to be up and about suggesting mini golf or bowling to break the ice, but they don’t. Men are happy to have a beer and a chat, where women seem to want to flounce about keeping busy to distract from having an actual conversation. Personally, a few beers in the sun beats pissing about going to a museum, so chill out ladies. You’re planning a date, not a cruise ship itinerary.
5. Casual is better
Turning up on a first date to see a lady plastered in clown make up is really off putting. Same goes with a guy who’s overdone the hair gel and cologne. It smacks of insecurity and is a real turn off. Although I like to scrub up nicely for special occasions, personally, I want my date to get to know me as who I am. Ok, so I’m not going to turn up in my onesie (I'll save that for date four) but if I put a mask and costume on, I tend to play a part. Go on your first date looking your best as YOU and not overdone, and you’ll find you instinctively act more natural and relaxed. Because who can chill out in a push up bra anyway?
First dates are terrifying for anyone, and the most important rule about bisexual dating is to make it clear that you’re bi. Pretending to be straight for a man or trying to make a girl like you by saying you’re completely gay is so backwards, and totally bad for the cause. Yes, biphobia exists, so it’s up to us to own it and stand up as bi and proud. Then, enjoy a seriously fabulous and diverse dating life, the joy of which those single-sex-orientated will never know.
About the Author: E J Rosetta is an LGBT Columnist and coffee addict living in Hampshire with her spoiled cat, Hendricks. More ramblings can be found on Facebook or via Twitter @EJRosetta
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