Apparently, bisexuality is still confusing the hell out of everyone. Even with the trans, gender fluid and intersex communities bursting into mainstream media, it seems people still just don’t get bisexuality. And because of the confusion, bisexual people are forced to struggle with annoying situations. Here are ten very real struggles bisexual people encounter.
1. Constant Quantifying
Constantly being asked “But which do you like MORE; men or women?” is incredibly time consuming. You wouldn’t ask a straight person how straight they are. And damn right you wouldn’t ask a lesbian to explain how much of a lesbian she is — she would punch you in the face. So, why do we need to quantify our sexuality to everyone? Just accept it’s both, and stop trying to measure our bi-ness.
2. It’s A Phase
No it isn’t. It’s a valid sexuality. I don’t understand why people wear neon legging, but that doesn't mean they don't exist.
3. You’re Transitioning
Bisexuality isn’t what I’m calling the period of time between being straight and “deciding” to be a lesbian. It isn’t what I’m calling myself as I’m transitioning. It’s fucking full-time and here to stay.
4. “But you’re with a man/woman?”
Yes, yes I am. That doesn’t stop me being attracted to both sexes. Yes, I am currently faithful to one person but this doesn’t change my sexuality. When I'm in a relationship, that doesn't stop me from crushing on Ellen Page so hard I want to cry a little.
5. Threesomes
If one more straight girl gives me a sultry look and whispers seductively in my ear that I’m the lucky lady she’s chosen to share her man with I’m going to start poking people swiftly in the eye.
Bisexuality is not about wanting both sexes at the same time. It just means we don’t limit our attraction based on a persons sex. So no, we do not want constant threesomes. Side-note: it is not the bisexual community's problem that your sex life is failing. Sorry.
6. What To Wear
People constantly ask me how I decide on a style. What am I supposed to do, wear a petticoat and skirt with a men's blazer just to make this easier for you to understand? Just like not all lesbians live in trucker caps and not all gay men flounce around in mankinis, my fashion sense is not based on my sexuality. It’s based on what I didn’t spill shit on yesterday.
7. “I think you’ll end up straight/gay”
I will not end up anything but bisexual. It is finite. This isn’t me musing over what to have on a restaurant menu before picking a singular dish … I will always like both sexes. Always. Just like you can be a cat person and still like dogs. You don’t have to pick one or the other.
8. “Bisexuals are cheaters”
OK, how many straight men do you know in a committed relationship who wouldn’t stare open mouthed at Megan Fox if she walks past? ANYONE in a relationship is going to be somewhat attracted to other people, but it does not mean they’re going to cheat and act on any crushes. Being bi doesn’t make us assholes. Your trust issues are not our problem.
9. Dating Websites
Very few dating sites have a bisexual option, so constantly changing the settings to check out what’s new on the “other side” is incredibly time consuming. Sort it out, internet.
10. “Can’t you just say you’re gay while we’re dating?”
I once dated a woman who found it embarrassing when I told her lez friends I am bisexual. She wanted me to just say I was “fully gay” while we were together. Notice that girl is now in the past tense. I will not change or hide my sexuality to suit your comfort levels and how you feel I should "be" to suit your image. I am a person, not an accessory.
There. Now you know what we have to deal with, and it’s never going to end. It’s so easy for bisexuals to throw their hands up in the air, give up and just pretend to be completely gay or straight to make things easier. But it’s time for that to stop! Be bi-fabulous, own it, and the rest of them will catch up eventually. And if not, who the hell even cares?
About the Author: E J Rosetta is an LGBT Columnist and coffee addict living in Hampshire with her spoiled cat, Hendricks. More ramblings can be found on Facebook or via Twitter @EJRosetta
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