I was 9 years old when Aaliyah passed away. The news of the plane crash that resulted in her untimely death was the talk-of-the-town on that hot, late-August morning on my elementary school's blacktop playground, and the one nagging question that I (and many other Baby Girl fans) had at the time was why did she have to be taken from the world so soon?
Now, exactly 15 years to the day of Aaliyah's death, I still find myself contemplating the same exact thing; only this time, I feel a little guiltier about it.
Like a lot of musical artists who lost their lives too soon, Aaliyah's life has been mythologized to the point where people mourn her for the potential successes she still could have had, instead of remembering all of the good work she managed to accomplish. It's not a bad thing. The act of contemplating (and properly grieving over) someone's potential is hardly (if ever) afforded to young black women, especially when their lives are cut short (Korryn Gaines, Sandra Bland, Sandra Black, and Kindra Chapman are just some of the unfortunately too many names that come to mind).
But I didn't want to just remember Aaliyah for who she was going to be. I wanted to remember her for who she was.
There is something to be said about an artist who, despite having a mainstream career that only spanned a little over a decade, has still managed to capture the hearts and minds of fans all over the world. And as each year goes by I find myself missing, more and more, the artist whose work helped me come into my own as a queer, person of color.
To me, that's the sign of someone who did great things with the time they were given, and there are a lot of lessons to be learned from someone like Aaliyah.
Be multifaceted
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Although the first (and most obvious) thing we all think about when we reminisce on Aaliyah's career is her incredible talent for singing, to say she was just a singer would be inaccurate. At the time of her death, she was in the midst of exploring different sides of her artistry, with the most prominent of her other talents being acting. She starred in Romeo Must Die and Queen of the Damned in lauded leading roles, and even though a lot of singers nowadays delve into acting, it's not always a given that they're going to be good and successful at it.
Aaliyah's ability to do different things, and do them well, positioned her as a perfect role model for me when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. She's a perfect example that you can (and should) have more than one thing going on, and that it's always a good thing to pursue whatever interests you.
Be passionate
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And speaking of pursuing your dreams and interests, one of Aaliyah's best qualities was that she always looked like she was having a blast at whatever she did. She had a passion for whatever project she was undertaking, and that was an important thing for me to have, because sometimes it's hard to remember when I (like other people in my generation) get too caught up in our day-to-day, 9-to-5 lives.
Be in control
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Despite being caught up in a headline-garnering scandal resulting from her reported marriage to fellow singer/producer R. Kelly (she was 15 and he was 27 at the time), Aaliyah never seemed to lose control of her own public image, and she never let what others thought of her define who she was as an artist — or person.
Growing up a femme, plus-sized, brown boy in conservative, white neighborhoods, I wasn't always treated with the respect and humanity some of my peers were given. One of my few solaces in life was music, especially pop and R&B, and identifying with the strong, empowering, and brave women who were currently occupying space on the charts. Aaliyah was one of my earliest faves, and because of her unapologetic sense of being her original self at all times, it was apparent to me why I loved her so much.
And last but not least...there are many different way to express yourself and your identity
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One of Aaliyah's many signatures, especially during the early days of her career, was her iconic tomboy style (a style that, to this day, is still influencing fashion lovers the world over). Dressing up in baggy clothes and clothing traditionally assigned to men (and looking incredible while doing so) showcased to the world that the rules of gender, masculinity, and femininity should be challenged, and that people should be able to wear and do whatever makes them feel comfortable and themselves. Being femme and queer in a hypermasculine, heteronormative world, this is one of the most comforting and freeing lessons I could have ever hoped to learn from Aaliyah.
While it's natural for people to want to think about all of the good things Aaliyah would have accomplished had her life not been cut short, it's also important to relish in the legacy she did leave behind, and what that legacy meant to people.
