7 New Words for 'Penis' You Need to Learn ASAP

Tallywacker. Schlong. Weiner. There are many words for a guy's manhood, and dozens of synonyms that describe our most vital member, but none of them are overly exciting. Frankly, these words are getting boring. They’ve become overused. They’ve lost their punch. They’re not as funny or descriptive as they once were.

So I propose a few new words for penis that need to be added to our vocabulary ASAP.

1. Shmollywhopper 
Sentence example: I could feel Dave’s shmollywhopper when he grinded on me.

2. Manstick 
Sentence example: Oh my god, John had the nicest manstick I’ve ever seen.

3. Noolnock 
Sentence example: When we went back to my place together, I made it very clear there would be no funny business with his noolnock that night.

4. Puttypot 
Sentence example: I told him to be a gentleman and put his puttypot away. 

5. Pashle 
Sentence example: He was being such a rude pashle last night; I couldn't handle it.

6. MiddyjeptNote: The "t" is silent

Sentence example: His shorts were so tight, I could see the outline of his middyjept.

7. Ploppydoodle 
There were a lot more ploppydoodles at the nude beach than I thought there would be.

Right? Aren't these a lot more fun to say?