20 Things They Don't Tell You Before You Come Out as Bisexual

As helpful as it would be, when coming out as bisexual, you don't exactly have a bi community elder leading the way. Though it would be wonderful to have a bisexual Yoda show you the in's and out's, that's just not how it works.

So, while we cannot be your bi/pan/omnisexual Mr. Miyagi, we can help to shed some light on a few things we wish we'd known before we came out. Answers to questions we had or didn't even know to ask.

Coming out is stressful and nerve-wracking enough. At the very least, you should be informed.

1. There's no right time to come out. There's no age requirement or limit. Do it when you feel most comfortable and ready.

2. Some people aren't going to get it. As an out bisexual, you're going to face some stigma and confusion. It's a harsh truth, but a truth nonetheless.

3. How you deal with that stigma and ignorance is completely up to you. Ignore it. Fight it. Correct them. Confront them. Say something. Don't say anything. Whichever path you choose is fine.

4. There's no percentage requirement. Lean slightly (or not-so slightly) towards one gender over the others? Awesome. You're still bi. We promise.

5. Only you can label yourself. You're bi if you say you are and are comfortable choosing to identify that way. You don't have to prove it to anyone else.

6. You don't have to have had sex with multiple genders (or with anyone) to know you're bisexual.

7. You can only have sex with one gender/sex your entire life and still be bisexual. See #5 if confused.

8. Biphobia exists not only in the straight community, but in the queer community as well. You will have days when you're made to feel like you're too straight for the queer community or too queer for the straight community.

9. Just remember, bisexuality is valid. You're not "too" anything.

10. There is, in fact, a bisexual pride flag. It's pink, purple, and blue, and it's awesome. You can find them at most Pride festivals or online.

11. There's an endless amount of bisexual puns available to you. In fact, there are more than other communities because you can use bi puns and general puns about liking your own gender. For example, when someone tells you to keep driving straight, you can confidently say that it's impossible for you to do anything "straight."

12. Bisexuality is not transphobic. The accepted definition is attracted to more than one gender, or attraction to people of your own gender and other genders. We do not define it as attraction to "men and women," because bisexuality should not create a gender binary.

13. Threesomes are not a requirement, though they are absolutely encouraged for those who are curious.

14. You're not greedy. The idea that bisexuals are greedy for being attracted to multiple genders is B.S. biphobic rhetoric produced by those who refuse to try to see things from our point of view. Don't listen to it.

15. Similarly, you're not inherently a slut just because you're bi. Again, that stereotype was created to oppress us and make us feel invalid. Now, if you choose to describe yourself and your sexual behavior as "slutty," that's perfectly fine. Remember: You can define yourself, others cannot define you for you. Be proud.

16. Bisexuals have a higher rate of mental health issues than the gay/lesbian or straight communities, oftentimes as a result of outside discrimination. It's important to be aware of this so that we can help support and take care of each other.

17. It seems there is no general consensus on "bisexuality" versus "pansexuality." Many people consider them to be interchangeable, while others adamantly believe them to be separate. Do your own research and form your own opinion.

18. You may not see a lot of bisexual characters on TV. That doesn't mean your identity isn't valid, it just means that TV shows need to join the real world and diversify.

19. A few of your favorite celebs are probably bi. There are a lot of us, y'all. You are not alone. Not even close.

20. For all of the challenges or negatives of being bisexual, there's a ton of great things. Being bi is exciting and dynamic.

At the end of the day, just live your life, and be proud knowing that your identity is entirely valid and you are awesome.